L a s t S u m m e r;

Monday, April 30, 2007

monday blues

Monday blues always hit me

simply because it tallies with my timetable. i have like 3 hours of literature and 2hours of malay and gp and what not.

p.e's also on today

and
as if thats not bad enuf, school just have to end at 5pm.

AND
thats not all. dance practice is on today. not that i hate it but why mondays? my WORST day. my bitchy/zombified/dont-bug-me-or-i'll-bite mode.

well. at least labour day is tomorrow. and i do have to look forward to our performance on wed. plus dinner ith mom on thurs.

my eyes can barely stay open. slept in the wee hours of the morn studying and afterwards destressing watching my hindi movies. mayb i should really just follow what mom says and marry some hot green eyed north indian guy. HAHA. that would seriosuly make my day:)

god. please help me pull thru this day.
i swear i'll be good. HAHA.

random thought
such childish games we play
to fill the emptiness
in our hearts

zulhilmi is THE most effective alarm clock

coz he'll never let you sleep in the canteen

at 7am in the morn

with the amount of humorously lame stuff

that rambles out of his mouth

xx signed off at 12:32 PM

Sunday, April 29, 2007

work&time

shit laa

got so much work to finish up. i seem to be saying that every week dont u think? but its true. like woah. the pile of work i have is unbearable. maths tutorials, international hist essays, southeast asia's essays, econs tutorials, lit essay, pw final submission and a few more that i cant rbr at the moment. haha.

econs test comin up on thurs
dance performance for school on wed

well. at least i dont procrastinate:)
i just have this urgent need to finish up all my work on sun by hook or crook. its good coz then at least i dont have ending work but sometimes its bad coz i tend to rush and stress myself up to complete evrything. LOL. now i sound obsessed=s

did i mention that i had to stand on the canteen bench on fri for jazz for chazz auditions?
i was just glad none of the glasses broke:P

technically im supposed to do my elearning shit now butttttttt.......
lol. obviously there are way better things to do on the net right? hahahaha.

i so wanna watch spiderman 3, shrek 3, pirrates of the carribean 3 or any other movie for that matter but i dont have the TIME. cancelled date with min all twice. and i feel so bad. dang. i need the time to relax and have fun.
sometimes i feel that i dont have a life
jc programmes take up 90% of ur life and that's hardly any time left for anything else.
=(

kpr yesterdae night was beneficial as usual. am looking forward to the topic of family&death:)

let me stop bleeding
for the man
who has stopped bleeding for me

all the tears in the world
can never amount for the
deepest wound you've given me
i'll never forget

yes. i'll take it slow

just for you

xx signed off at 3:50 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

perhaps

you wont admit you love me
and so
how am i ever to know
you only tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps

a million times ive asked you
and so i asked you over
again you only tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps

if you cant make you mind up
we'll never get started
and i dont wanna end up
being heartache ,broken hearted

so if you really love me
if you dont dear confess
then please dont tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps

jazz for chazz auditions tmr. hmm...

photowerks was damn useful. at least i dont feel so technlogy illiterate:)
congrats to tia for winning debate
all the best to zul for trial tracks

i wonder why some individuals can be so selfish at times. and i realised the teens you meet at jc can be the best yet worst people you meet in life. well..nobody's perfect i suppose.

he smiled when i was at the brink of giving up
why?

xx signed off at 8:41 PM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

competitive

its funny how ive met all my close buddies after the o's EXCEPT for min, hj, mama & rabia. the people i am closest to. ive met tia, wan, mariam, fiz, etc BUT not them. and i miss them the most. LOL. definitely wanna arrange a date with them. please buzz me:)

before i forget

happy bdae abang! haha. not as if he'll read it bt my bro is finally legal. yes. 18. doubt he wants to take the motor licence tho. HAHA. bought him a parker pen. hahahaha.

got council elections todae. its till 5pm LIKE WTH la. as if i have nothing better to do. why cant we just give our votes and leave??

anyways
i think perhaps its better for me to jst erase whatever i had for him. like whats the pt?
hmm..

im finally passing malay. i wonder why some people can be so competitive? LIKE HELLO. even if u score better than me i subject, dont have to like gloat right? i mean, do you have like a prize for winning? hahaha. crapper. perhaps i should give u a taste of ur own medicine later on. we'll see if u like it then HAH!

such childish games

some bitches are really getting on my nerves
i
a
m
g
o
n
n
a
s
n
a
p

wandering like a leaf blown by the breeze

xx signed off at 10:11 AM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

bitchfit

like FINALLY this skin is done up. took me 2whole hours laa.

bodoh

bitchfit

boo

he made me smile todae

and erased my bad case of bitchfit

LOL

xx signed off at 5:29 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

pink

too much pink in this page

time to change skin

xx signed off at 12:15 PM

numbess

she left
and i felt nothing

arrived at the point where too many enotions clash
end result-
numbness

i wanna scream cry
anything
just react at the least

yet

~~nothing~~

buy me chocolates

buy me bears

buy me back

love

xx signed off at 10:04 AM

Friday, April 20, 2007

complicated

you know i know you know who

OMG. i so hate it when he begins talking to me like this. all twisted and complicated wtih hidden meanings evrywhere. why in the world cant he just tell me? LOL

oh goddd
the suspense is killin me

finally a gurl that he expresses interest for AND he doesnt wanna tell me. wth.
i so wanna behead you now. haha.

met bestie for brunch. starving like shit lyddat. ate at hawker center. i suddenly feel all grown up. its like woah....sudden pang of enlightenment.

LOL

me&sham was stupidly sitting at emnpty un-aircon-ed lecture theatre for 10 WHOLE min before realizing that we were at the wrong CLASS. joke of the yr:)

happy bdae faizal&charlotte:)

<3>

xx signed off at 8:52 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

syf pics

moneng&mua

hearts them<3

twinx)

spot me;P

ncc babex)

so freakin goth. i loikeeeee:)

-no comments-

syf 2007:)

yes. i know we look damn weird and dysfunctional but what the hell! we were still top3 jc's in singapore OK??

p.s i've been spelling his name wrongly. shit. its CALvin. LOL.

and

i miss that stupid horny monkeyy laa. the more i talk to calvin, the more i think of that no brainer! wth. dont be jealous ok min? i think of u alot too. mwaaaaah! :P

unnoticed by the ones we like

WHY?

xx signed off at 8:17 PM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

b&j

BEN and JERRY's free cone day was on the 17th of april 2007 and yes being the kiasu singaporeans we all really are inside(yes, i admit wan) me/farah/charlotte/martin rushed to white sand straight after econs lecture to go get it. HAHA.
but, the queue was effing long soo martin, bein the rational male incharge suggested to go dwntwn's outlet instead. and hell yea it was worth it!!!!

picture this 3gurls and a guy runnin dwn the bustp to dwntwn screamin

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. the ice creams MINE"
LOL how barbaric. we were like gladiators goin to war=P

the queue was long but it was fast movin and psssst we got two cones each coz we queued twice. HAHA. i feel like a glutton. still. am gonna mark dwn this date in the calendar. its a yearly thing:)

i have so many overdue pics dating from syf. basket.

oh ya do i have that neighbourhood kindda school girl look?

if yes, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME tell me why or rather what makes me look like that?
haha. ziz tells me its that 'malay' look. so u're saying malays look dumb? wth. LOL.

if no, then i totally agree with you! i mean i dont tink i look like that.
then again, i cnt judge myself right? tink i shld ask zul. he always gives me the weirdest yet most reasonable explanations.

20/50 gp
3/8 econs
probably flunkin maths too

i cannt work under pressure

HELP

he saw yet said nothing
perhaps it was right
whats there left to talk about?

kelvin and maths todae:)

xx signed off at 10:23 AM

Sunday, April 15, 2007

walk away

biarkanlah diriku sendirian tanpamu

you walk away
without turning behind
and i know
its over

my mind is so strong sumtimes i forget i have to follow my heart.

new hairdo=new life=new friends=new guy (LOL)

yea. right. wadeva.
and yes
i did cut my hair
overdue pics will be up soon i suppose

shit. pw still not done

au revoir

xx signed off at 7:43 PM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

emo

mungkin kan bersama dua jiwa ini
dalam mencari cinta sejati
mungkinkah segala derita di jiwa
akan terubat kini

anuar zain rawks my sox)

such an emo mood todae. prolly coz i miss the bestie a hell lot then managed to spent only a while with her todae.

poly&ite starting which means its gnne be harder to meet up with sum buddies. aww mannn.

i thought of him so much today and its weird coz ive been able to avoid this feeling for the past few mths. perhaps coz it'll be half a year tmr:(
it seems like yesterdae that u were still cradling in my arms.

shitto. i still got a ton of hw to get dne and all i started on was my note-reading. URGH.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

i swear kelvin is just too nice. LOL.

xx signed off at 7:39 PM

Friday, April 13, 2007

friends

"the feel of having a companion. someone who cares"
"people say the grass is greener on the other side. but i think its greener on my side"
"what does it feel like to be blind?"

hahaha. jst a buncha stuff zul said that stuck to my head sumhow.

dearest friend,
if only the world could see u the way i do. even if its just a glimpse, they'll know what they're missing out and what a gem u really are. have some believe. please.

:)

tiny note sidetracking.

its funny how some friends just seem to give you that homey feeling. sumtimes even more than family. the stuff he said is still ringing in my head.
that disappointment. i totally feel what he's saying simply because i've went through that phase before.

i wish i could pen down all the emotions raging within me but all i end up doin is deleting sentence after sentence.

the wonders of feelings. how so much can be felt yet cn never be arranged into simple words.
i so desperately want him to be happy. i dont know why but i do. perhaps its because i've accepted him as a part of my life. just as i've accepted the few other friends.

accepted them
enough to care for them
enough to feel their pain
enough to pray for their well being.

perhaps i am cautious in accepting friends for that fear of being torn.

so dear friend,
do cheer up coz u noe i care:)

a companion.

nothing beats the feeling of knowing someone that's always there without fail

deep down

i feel incomplete

only 3jc's in the entire of spore got a silver:D

i wanna turn lesbian for mariam coz i love her like hell!

Labels: acceptance, companion, friends

xx signed off at 9:09 PM

Thursday, April 12, 2007

silver

top three JCs
yet
still only a silver

i wonder
why the judges had to say we were the top 3 when we didnt even get a gold??

then again
non of the jc's got a gold and we gotta be thankful for what we've got right? was a tad disappointed at first but i always believe that everything happens for a reason.

thanks to all that's supported me
kelvin
aziz
wan
zul teddy
zul devil
and all others not mentioned.

particularly to my lovely darling sham for holding me when all i did was cry tears of joy/disappointment/relief/pride.

congrats to soccer boys
4-0 against YJC
go beat ACJC tmr!!
(so sad i wun be there to support)

not goin escape or east coast on sat
too much work:(

i swear i have a whole pile of shitty homework and notes to read up on waiting for me that i'll literally drown in it if i cover myself with it. HAHA. ok. so ~~not~~ funny.

"-.-

"setiap yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya"

get a life bitch

au revoir

6facts about myself (charlotte dear made me do this. LOL)

#1 i have stretchmarks on my thighs. OMGOMGOMG.

#2 i am obsessed with order. ok. not technically obsessed but enough to ensure that im in control of my life, emotions, actions and thoughts.

#3 i tend to replace hurt with anger. easier to be angry at a person than brood and cry.

#4 i have a knack for reading someone. understanding a person through their actions and train of thought.

#5 i hate (and i mean ABHOR) being controlled by people other than my family.

#6 i absolutely LOVE daydreaming abt being with someone special:)

6people to do this quiz

-huimin

-fad

-ernst

-tia

-mas

-sarah

Labels: quiz, soccer, support, syf

xx signed off at 5:46 PM

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

syf:)

another quote from that friend on tagged. haha. sweet talkers are the biggest jerks right ziz? LOL

"I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."

pe
captain ball trials
tarian

non stop. HAH! beat that.
result=swollen leg. fell dwn dring the trials. boohoo. but im good. at least i think so. hahaha.

happy 44th bdae to daddy!!!

(shit. nd to get gift)

love him to bits no matter how much he seem to control and protect me like a special pearl in his palm.

tarian practice soon. ~~skipped econs tutorial.~~ oops. HAHA. soccer match todae. all the best to the boys. go beat yjc!!!! woohoo!

and all the best to tarian gurls tmr! we're gonna rawk the house:P

Labels: bdae, swollen, well wishes

xx signed off at 8:28 AM

Monday, April 09, 2007

calm

retribution
redemption
karma

god is fair

love today

like you did yesterdae

calm under adversities

something a friend on tagged left me with

"Two hearts that have been merged is marriage; two souls that have been merged is fate."

Labels: fairness, quote

xx signed off at 10:01 AM

Sunday, April 08, 2007

volunteering

egyptian

masked dancers

diyanah's bdae cake

p.s happy bdae zai!!!

relatively pleased todae.

went pertapis at kovan. part of mcs. helped packed abt 500 books, 30towels and 200 toys. hahaha.

brought home "spongebob's guide to survival" and "tintin's comic"

sumhow. i jst feel real satisfied. life-changing experience sumhow. im so gonna return nxt sunday to help out again.

-the hidden volunteer in me. LOL:P

suddenly

i can see clearly

thank you god:)

shitshitshit

syf soon

Labels: pertapis, syf

xx signed off at 8:14 PM

Saturday, April 07, 2007

updated

hot babex)

faizal kental in my jacket. HAHA. gayboy=P

07a301 babes

ladies in black

parent orientation ushers

ah kau. HAHA.

beneath the surface
what do you see?

syf in 3days
pls
pls
pls

[UCC's changing room was DAMN cool like a real make up studio. the kind u see in antm. LOL]

jakun. HAHA.

tnx sham for dedicating me a song on perfect10 the other day:)

~~deep down~~

~~its the same~~

~~you should know better~~

~~than to question~~

~~what i truly feel~~

xx signed off at 8:44 PM

Friday, April 06, 2007

movie marathon

movie marathon- 400students
5nonstop running movies
chinese subs
cold aircon
hard floor
food food food
martin psycho-ing
all equates to
pure FUN

haha. to be honest it wasnt that great but it wasnt bad either.

special thanks to
sham for getting me cup noodles for breakfast today
martin for massaging me

and most of all

to kelvin for enlightening me on the art of "parkour". HAHA.
talked from 2.15am to 5am.
funny how we didnt even realized we chatted that long, esp considering the fact that he hardly sits&talk to anyone for 2and half hours.
he is lame but weirdly enuff, very logical. LOL.

stood outside perk. walked 4rounds around 2nd level and ended up in the sports gallery where we ALMOST fell asleep. HAHA.

he's different

or in his words

special:)

anyways.
i got kicked outta school this morn coz they had to lock up ~~and i was stuck alone with so many bags at school bustp waiting for sarah&sari to arrive.~~ HAHA. merely 2hrs of sleep todae.

p.s happy bdae to diyanah!!!!!!!!!

i love tarian babes laaaaaaa:)

i have so much work to do
yet
there's still tarian tmr.

GOLD
here we cum:D

which does thy heart feel for?

xx signed off at 9:02 PM

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

update

HAPPY BDAE ZIZ!!!!

p.s i hope you get married sooon. if you really cant find a girl, im always available. (altho that wld complicate matters) HAHAHA=P

u know i love you ziz:)

and happy advanced bdae to harlina.

sad to say

i love lin more than u ziz. MUAHAHAHA=P

anyways.

another busy week cming up

thurs-tarian (UCC practice)

-movie marathon:D

fri-movie marathon

-tarian

sat-tarian

-maths session with sham

-date with lin

its gonna be a tiring three days. sun wld be catchin-up-with-studies day. mon finishing school at 5pm. tue tarian. wed-THE BIG DAY

i really hope nobody screws up on syf

pls

let no one screw up&let evryone do their best. PLEASE.

seniors just said evryone gains weight in mj. so i feel a tad better. still. my diet regime is on.

1bowl of rice/day

light snacks

cut dwn consumption of chocs by 90%

holy crap. its 4.30. came home early to finish up school stuff. darn.

au revoir

you dont love me

admit

spare my heart

the pain

maths makes me feel all sucky all day
i so need help!

xx signed off at 4:11 PM

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

i cnt help but feel hurt
after all
i did love him

a prisoner of my own walls

still at the lowest pit

"i dont love you

like i loved you

yesterdae"

xx signed off at 9:47 AM

Monday, April 02, 2007

monday blues

-run in with ***
in the middle as usual. (WTH)

-gained weight (and i mean ALOT)
so mom was giving me the whole "itoldyouso" thing.

-found out he has a gf
like whatever (yea, right)

-teeny fight with ____
who the hell am i kidding man??

monday BLUES

kelvin is the sweetest thing for listenin to my crap when i was upset. and also for being the only one to hit me succesfully with a n april fool prank. haha. he fell for mine too tho:)

sit down and think

when was the last time

you felt pain in my absence?

point proven

case closed

~~one of those low points in my life~~

Labels: blues, down, kelvin

xx signed off at 7:37 PM

Sunday, April 01, 2007

i dont love you

When you go
Don't ever think
I'll make you try to stay

And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, the good-for-nothing
I don't know

So take your gloves and get out
Better get out

While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love youLike I didYesterday"
Well come on, come on
When you go
Would you have the guts to say

"I don't love you

Like I loved you

Yesterday

-my heart still skips a beat:(

xx signed off at 3:54 PM

april fool

happy bdae to ernst aka teddy bear!!!

hmm. i cnt rbr why i called him teddy bear way back in pri school. LOL. do u rbr teddy? hahaha.
anyways
hope we keep in touch:)

finally finished up with econs tutorial.
left with econs notes&maths turotial.

gotta revisit past hist notes. LOL.

had so much fun pullin off april fool jokes on wan, yan, ziz&sham. HAHA. all fell for it. muahahahaha. wan's reaction was priceless=P

love me

hate me

take ur pick

Labels: april fool jokes, teddy

xx signed off at 3:19 PM