The self

http://enlightenme.tumblr.com
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" _leonardo da vinci
fanana. 19.

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

# pissed #

Sunday, April 17, 2005

`hOw dO I livE`

[totali romantic song!! aww...how mushy ken i get?! *blushes*]

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away
everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I How do I Oh,
how do I live Without you,
there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, oh Baby,
I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I How do I Oh, how do I live
Please tell me baby
How do I go on
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're
everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I How do I Oh,
how do I live how do I live without you
how do I live without you baby how do I live....

[unwrItteN]

--onE of e soNgz wit suPerb lyriCz! heheX..swit nah?--

I am unwritten,
can't read my mind,
I'm undefined
Im just beginning,
the pen's in my hand,
ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition,
sometimes my tries, a
re outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,
but I can't live that way.

Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
But the rest is still unwritten

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

*almost here*

Did I hear you right?
'Cos i thought you said,
Lets think it over.
You have been my life,
And I never planned,
Growing old without you.
Shadows bleeding through the light,
Where the love once shined so bright,
Came without a reason.
Don't let go on us tonight, L
ove's not always black and white,
Why haven't I always loved you?

And when I need you
You're almost here
And I know thats,
Not enough.
And when I'm with you,
I'm close to tears,
'Cos you're only almost here.

I would change the world,
If I had a chance,
Oh won't you let me.
Treat me like a child,
Throw your arms around me,
Oh please protect me.

Bruised and battered by your words,
Dazed and shattered now it hurts.

Oh havent I always loved you?

And when I need you
You're almost here
And I know thats,
Not enough.
And when I'm with you,
I'm close to tears,
'Cos you're only almost here.

Well I never knew how far behind I left you

And when I hold you, You're almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you, I'm close to tears

'Cos I know I'm almost here.

Only almost here

(-free? mayb..-) (-available? nah..-)

im FINALLY outta it! definitely have more tym to study n relax...not in a rush n owaes tird now i guez...=) filing kindda relieved i suppose...*grinz* well...at least one of my MANY probz is settld...

im not tinking much abt 'em...msgd 'em diz morn...n now both r bz soo im free...datz y mangad to write in d blog...heheX..kiddin! ektuali im juz too lazy to write n gt not tym...hehe...itz not coz of d guiz i dun write...nweiz...i read a blog n i felt heartbroken reading those wordz...i mean...i reli dun wanna put 'em thru all diz...bt i reli dun want commitment...itz a lesson i learnt...d hard wae...i dn want to go thru all of it again...mayb till im ready..im independant n it will stay dat way...even till i get married coz datz how my parentz brought me up...nvr rely on anibodi...i dun nid sum gui to push me ard n lock me in a cage to do tinkz i DUN want to n make me end up lying to dem..haix..

y do u owaes have to noe wadz in my heart?? in my mind...in my eyes...u owaes noe....it touchez my heart...bcoz i love u...n im admitting it 4 d first tym aft so long...I LOVE U! haix...bt im ovrcumin it..bcoz i dun want tinkz to turn out dat wae...hez special to me too...u'll nvr undrstand...dun cum n tell me u will coz oni i doo...n i alone...

i'd rathr hide in my hole now...be alone...stay alone n hurt no one bt urself...datz me...n it will stay dat wae...dun cum n tell me all typz of nonsense coz i HATE it....urgh!!! im drowning in myself...bt let me die alone coz all i nid iz myself...i learnt dat...n i will kip it dat wae..

Saturday, April 16, 2005

%$# two-timer $#%

[start] hmm...i fil lyk a two-timer at tymz coz im lyk goin out wit 2 guiz at d same tym...haix...though im nt commitd at all n i didnt gv promises n BOTH guiz noe dat abt each othr...haixx..... [end]

Friday, April 15, 2005

::cLoudeD tOtz::

Thursday, April 07, 2005

;{ bez fwenz......? }; Part 2

haiz...juz had a tok wit my long lost bez fwen...shez ryt dere in frnt of me bt well..we didnt tok much....i reli missed her...u noe as in her craziness n all dat.. n im NOT bisexual or wadeva...soo dun tink stupid stuff...nweiz... haix...itz amazing how much we grew apart...i mean....compare me n her...and me n illia...we r lyk totali in diff skulz bt we didnt grew dat apart...sure...we both changd bt well...nt dat much...

i'd rathr not mention my bez fwenz name...i mean those u noe me wld noe hu im toking abt...even if u dunnoe, dun kpo hor! *grinz* kiez...jokez aside...i had a 1/2 hr tok with her n though it was short, it was definitely sufficient coz i knew she was tearing up to bitz inside bt i also know dat MY BEZ FWEN had grown strongr...she was no longr d gurl hu cried wn a buch of bitches discriminatd her...n im proud to sae dat...

bt my heart broke wen i saw those marks on her...shez my bez fwen...wad do u xpect?? we were vewie close no mattr our diffrences n i totali DUN want her to make dat outright STUPID decision...coz shez a totali bright kid n she ken make a gr8 future if she made the ryt crictical decision...haix... i WILL help u along d wae...evn in ur studiez...i ken tok to ur parentz n convince dem certain tinkz...im willing to dat 4 u...coz friends dun desert each othr...u're in a lot of pain...i ken see dat...haix...u're a stubborn gurl...datz y i chose not to tell u all diz....u noe i oni want e bez 4 u....hahha...im startng to speak lyk a parent...well...itz becoz i care...n no mattr wad...u noe im owaes here...

n i owaes will be...i juz re HOPE n i'll pray dat u carry on....i'll defintely help u...juz let me....please...i dun wanna see u throw ur lyf away..... hope u'll read diz...u noe hu u are...

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

;{ bez fweNz.....? };

haiz....felt lyk bursting into tearz wen dey both juz gave me dat look a few daiz back...was mine dat horrible or childish or wadeva?????? URGH! cldnt hlp crying wen i got home...i questioned our fwenshp...HOW cld u do diz to me????? urgh!!! my angr iz vnetd inside....buried at the back of my brain...though surfacing in my heart...i moved away n kept tinks to myself...filing itz better diz wae....i cant possibly tell eveitink...my motive iz to kip tinkz hidden n it WILL stay dat way! do you undrstand??????

haix....im screaming in angr...not in pain.....I HATE YOU!!!! Undrstnd dat n PUT IT IN UR BLLODY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

*lightr*

todayz aPriL fOol....heheX...d joke frm u diz morn gave me a shock...heheX...was worried sick...hmph! soo bad ar u! *winkz*

hmm...im a bit better now...guez i juz cant be bothdrd wif problemz since itz part n parcel of life! now im lyk listening to d song in mr "jae's" blog..soooo nyc!! haix...n im lyk tinkin of HIM again wen i SHLDNT!!!!!! urgh! nweiz...thnx to mr jae, i fill lighter sumhow...mayb itz coz im xpressng totz to an adult, wic rarely happenz..soo...a BIG thank you to mr jae 4 makin my dae wit ur reply to my sms ystrdae n oso 4 d chocz!..u're d bez! =D

nweiz...hopin to 4gt him sOon...haix...sumhow... itz hard to open up everitink again...mayb datz y i juz cldnt bring myself to do it even to my bez fwen..it juz hurtz too much n im scrd to do it...haix...dilemma... nweiz...im juz glad i fil better n im learnin to juz take everitink lightly..n to take it day by day...too much tinking or stress iz not good 4 d health ya noe...*grinz* haix....im seriously falling in love wit mr jae's blog song! (p.s: d blog song hor...not him!) dun tink i'd evr fall 4 a teachr....hmm...d song iz soo addictv n swit...haix...if oni IT cld b happenin ryt now...haix...

skulz gettin worse by e dae n i juz wish d remedial thingy wld stop or wadeva..u have no idea d amt of hw mr khiat gives...dat alone ken kill me...haix...n datz oni one sub...haix...i tink im gonna lyk have a nervous breakdown..haix... so much sighng huh? suddnly i have soo much to sae...guez makin it up 4 d past daiz i didnt update in here...it fils gr8 to juz pour it all out here.. kiez den...i guez datz it...wun b writing 4 d wkend coz gotta finish all my stupid hOmewerk...wanna go 4 miting @ 2.15 den gt ncC..gonna be a long dae...catcha sum othr tym! muack-muack! -outz-

Friday, April 01, 2005

`Quote me` +.+

-:There is only one happiness in life,to love and be loved.:-
-::-The Magic Of Love-::-
Love is like magic
And it always will be.
For love still remains
Life's sweet mystery!!
Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!
Love can transform
The most common place
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.
Love is unselfish,
Understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart
And not with its mind!!
Love is the answer
That everyone seeks...
Love is the language,
That every heart speaks.
Love can't be bought, .
It is priceless and free,
Love, like pure magic,
Is life's sweet mystery!!

- Helen Steiner Rice -