"I have not failed, I just found 10,000 ways that won't work"
-Thomas Edison
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
SCHOOL just got back from skul. wantd to blog during L.S but changed my mind since d com was so freaking slow and i got too much to sae with such lil time. soo i decided to ckip my rehearsal todae. MUAHAHAHA. i mean im not reli skipping it technically since im supposed to have poa tution todae n itx FREAKING cancelled AGAIN!!!itx so irritating. i mean itx like d 3rd or 4th time in a ROW n i badly need d tuition coz my poa is lyk shit now! (of coz itx also due to me not paying attention) but hu ken undrstd ck10 anyway ryt?? haha! started off the day quite well. jux dat i was soo sleepy despite the fact that i slept at 9.30. guess my busy schedule is keepin me both physically & mentally tired. sigh. once speech dae & m.y is over, im sure everytink will be back to normal. sigh. itx so scaree that the exams are nearing. ESP the fact that MALAY o'levels are jux round he corner. the back of my head seems to be nagging everydae bugging me to study but i reli am TIRED. everytink seems to be taking its toll on me. sigh. i feel guilty coz therex so much more to study wad wif the exams being only 2 weeks away!! i tink our skul mux be nutx to place the M.Y the week aft speech dae! like HELOO!!! does anybody care abt those involved in the speech dae??? dumbdumb. im like trying real hard to sudyy. sigh. itx reli scaree. if i dun ace n breeze thru the M.Y. thatx it! my parentx are gonna chop off my head and then grill it.
FRIENDS they wanna go out this sat. i tink they're nuts. but maybee they just enjoy going out. im sure they do. i cant. seriously. i mean HELLO! u dun need to face anyone at home wen u flunk your exams. thatx d diff betwn me & them. sumtimes i feel like im on an entirely diff planet from them. they think im crazee coz i mug so much (wic is untrue!) coz i dun mug tht much. i mug only HALF of that my bro. sumtimes i feel that i just dun 'click' wit em. itx like we talk n think so diffrently. sumhow. i dunnoe. esp rabia. i mean shex my bestest n craziest fren n she noex (along wit otherx thatx known me for quite sum time) that wen i scream, it shows i care. n it is wen i dun scream at them that i dun care anymore. n i dun give a shit. sigh. so few undrstd me. yet wad shld i expect? had sum disagreements wif rabia today. sigh. we disagree too much, it has been this way for the past 3 years. we are both frm diff backgrds wif diff levels of thinking. i wish i could reach out & pull her. pull her to the other side of the wall.
``the voice from the wall
LIFE success is like sand. the more you try to hold on to it, the more it slips away. my success seems to slip away. slip away so soon no one relizes it. maybee people grow accustom to it. sigh. itx sad that the higher you climb the lonelier you get. my true frenx are obnly a handful. but to turn back and look again, im not even sure that they'll be dere for me for the rest of my life. i turn around only to see you there waving. i WANT u to be a part of my future. i NEED u to be a part of me. i DEPEND on u to be there to hold me strong. u are my pillar of strength. everyone needs an anchor. an anchor to rely on. to help one be sure of one's self. in my case, my family (no matter how much i 'claim' to hate em) and YOU are the anchor in me. i believe i have friends who will be there but will they be there with me in the next 10 years of my life? will they be there to hold my hand n lend a listenin ear? i've learnt so much from wad life has to give. and all i have to do is take. be it good or bad. TAKE and make the best out of it. coz all you have to do is thank god. thank god for not receiving any worse that wad you get. (=
`` i said a lil sumtink a few daix back n i tink it shook him up. hmm. we lead such diffrent lives. will we make it? im tinking so far ahead. i dun want to make mistakes. dun want to waste years of my life wif you wen we will never make it in the future. it is NEVER enough to think positive. ACTION has to be taken. sigh. love is never enough to make US work. maybee i should stop tinking. stop tinking & i'll be happy. stop tinking abt the future. take it byt the dae. maybee``
