"I have not failed, I just found 10,000 ways that won't work"
-Thomas Edison
Friday, July 08, 2005
wish
~i wish i had u to cry on~
heyx! Im ultra bored now...haha...came home early for d first tym coz got nutink on...hahah...was tinkn of changing my blogskin...hmm...
nweix...haix....y cant ppl undrstd dat even wen im holdin such a big post at LCDJ...im oso a teenager lyk every1 else....im not an alien or robot datz perfect ya noe...haix...it kindda hurts wen one of my teacher said dat im a role model for d students n wadeva i do is owaes reflectd on everyone else...i mean in a positv wae....itz a compliment...but in a wae...it kindda showz dat ppl have a highr xpectation of me n im juz scard if i dissapoint 'em or myself for dat mattr...3 teachers today talkd to me abt d councilors...2 of em commented on d beahaviour n d othr one commented abt me...haix...y cant dey undrstd dat im ylk everyone else n i still have to do chores lyk all othr teenagers...haix..
xpectations is a word i've been hearing a lot diz week...mostly from mr ong as he toks abt d council n othr students....i mean its normal for everyone to have xpectations of othrs...but not to d xtent dat itz so high....wad if i cant perform as a good president shld??? i have to set the standard....haix...been breaking down a lot in skul...d strain reli got to me during d investiture period.... hahaha...in fact...i fil lyk cryng diz very moment...haix...
i chose diz song for mi bloggie coz not only diz song is supr nyc bt itz also meaningful...coz i dun exactly have ani1...any fwen...to exactly sae those words in d song to me...sure..i have lotsa meaningful n reli gr8 fwenz...bt...in actual truth...i dun have anione to pour everitink out to...
haix....at home itz no bettr...my broz are 4eva togeda...my youngr bro is foreva wit my older bro...itz reli tough bein d oni gurl in da family ya noe...again... xpectationz r set....my youngr broz 4eva fightng wif me...i mean...nobodi noes how much i lurve dem all....itz reli hurting juz to c how my brother reacts towards me..even the words he says can hurt a lot w/o him meanin to...haix... wld anibodi even miss me if i was dead? i mean...in skul...aik kun will juz replace me...at home...my broz wun even notice d diff coz dey owaes have each othr.....................................................................................................
haix...tears fallin down....wounded scars....unhealed.....im lost....lost in my own world.......................................................
